Wade's [Dick in a Box] Top Ten

I apologize for the late posting. It's just that I am constantly listening to new indie artists and haven't had time to set my new Zune down for a minute to post my list, but here is my long-awaited listing of the top lists this year. Bloggers worldwide, start your debating! (and ignore the fact that no one cares what you think)

Meta-Top Ten

1. Rob's Top Ten - Former bracefaced Honda driver morphs into smoldering, litagating, verb-inducing Jetta-setter but retains second-grade humor mores. Introduces motion to dismiss local panties. Entire female legal teams sweep away precedent just to get the two hairy analyses and one long piece of evidence under his briefs.

2. Kyle's Top Ten - Kyle presented a top ten which consisted of what could have been bands and albums, or possibly countries and failed dictatorships, or parts of the ear, nose or throat. Yet the number one single was radio hit "Crazy." I respects them shits. KY takes the hideous boil of obscure music and puts it right on the anus of the beautiful, if slightly retarded, girl of popular music.

3. Erika's Top Ten - I put you next to Kyle because if I remember correctly, that's where you'd want to be. It also seemed that you have become musically "enlightened" as of late. It is not too late for you. Let me send you your brother's Weezer T-shirt and concert footage. Olaf sux.

4. Adam's Top Ten - "Trust thyself," writes Emerson in The Da Vinci Code. Yes, Adam knows that when his friends come over to drink Scotch, play Wii, and spin on stools, he needs to have the 50 Cent playlist, because CJ doesn't listen to Iron and Wine while reppin' his set. Adam also alluded to the fact that there is one person in the world who puts less effort into their music than Ryan Adams: http://www.myspace.com/humpingmanagement http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuU7SbmJiOk

5. Mickey's Top Ten - Mickey, look deep inside yourself. Isn't there a Weezer shirt there somewhere? Won't we always have the Nine Inch Nails concert? I worry that soon you'll start watching only HBO and we will never talk about TV again!

Top Reasons to Hate Pitchfork

1. Mastadon - "Hey, we listen to all types of music! Really! I mean, heavy metal, too, of course! Just...I mean...we like, umm...shi---oh, yea, Leviathan! Rocks, man! Reminds me of early...sorta..." Seriously, these guys are good. They've got tight rhythms, freight-train guitars, dynamic range--oh, wait, I thought we were talking about System of a Down. No, Mastadon sucks.

2. Pitchfork

Top Albums that I Will Probably Not Listen To

01 - Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood - Gritty vocals, percussive too-loud bass technical drumming--the Tool influence is very heavy on this album, but it somehow retains its own flavor.
02 - Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies - I have always been a Christopher Cross fan, which makes it sort of obvious why this is my #2.
03 - Beirut - Gulag Orkester - This is the album that Toto should have released in the early ninties, or that Alex Lifeson's solo project should have been. Good bowling music.
04 - Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit - Sure, Belle was criticized for leaving The Beast Project and hooking up with longtime New Pornographers producer Sebastian Bach. But this neo-Skid Row leaves the listener satified.
05 - My Brightest Diamond - Bring Me the Workhorse - It's like a taste of heaven--all-beef, with onions, relish and mustard. Fantastic.
06 - Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche - Nutty, with a warm finish and a vague taste of bitters.
07 - The Hold Steady - Boys & Girls in America - "Let's just talk at the audience. They'll fuckin' love it."
08 - The Decemberists - The Crane Wife - When the air turns warm and the sun melts into the lake, I think of our wedding day, and the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be with everyone we love and enjoy it for one bright, full day. Listening to The Decemberists is the exact opposite of that.